Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
