You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
