I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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