Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
