Rock
Scissors
Fuck
thus making me awesome and them whores
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
