spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
