guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
