Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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