Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
