He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
