The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
