You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
