I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think your dad took our porno
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
