I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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