Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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