Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
