You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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