He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize