bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
