i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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