Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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