My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
