he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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