Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
