My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
