If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
