Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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