can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
