they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
