you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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