On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
