At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
