She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
