hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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