Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
