I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
