she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
