He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can't turn off my feet"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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