i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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