I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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