brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
