Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
