last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
