I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
