I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
