Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize