Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have post one night stand depression
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
