I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
