Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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