Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
