Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Semen is not good for contacts.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
