Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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