She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
