I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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