I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
