do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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