Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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