quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
